The holidays! It’s a time for festive cheer, questionable sweater choices, and the annual gladiatorial spectacle of Uncle Ernie and Aunt Edna’s political debates. Buckle up, it’s going to be a bumpy sleigh ride.

Once again you will be stuck sitting between Aunt Edna and Uncle Ernie at the annual holiday dinner. Aunt Edna is a dyed-in-the-wool conservative, and Uncle Ernie is as liberal as they come. They don’t hold opinions, they spew them.

Here are some mediation techniques that might just help you survive your next holiday dinner.

Active Listening (or Pretending Really Well)

Try to master the art of active listening, which is really just nodding while Uncle Ernie and Aunt Edna rant. It’s like agreeing, but not really. Just nod and make noises that suggest interest.

Speaking in Neutral – The Switzerland of Conversations

Adopt the language of neutrality, which is essentially agreeing with everyone and no one simultaneously. It’s an impressive party trick.

These first two ideas will provide you with some protection from your politically crazed relatives, but they won’t stop the fight. You will need some additional tools.

Common Ground: As Elusive as Santa’s Naughty List

Engage in the noble pursuit of helping Edna and Ernie find common ground. It’s there, hidden beneath layers of disagreement and eggnog. Perhaps they both think the holiday music started too early this year. Maybe they both think the dog wearing a Santa hat is cute. You’ve got to start somewhere…

Diplomatic Pirouettes

When the conversation veers towards the political abyss, pivot with the grace of a Nutcracker ballet dancer. “That’s one way to look at tax policy, but have you tried the mashed potatoes?”

Reframing and De-escalating

When discussions become polarized, reframe them. Steer the conversation away from divisive specifics to broader, mutually respected values (or maybe steer the conversation to the food, or a discussion of your cousin’s choice of sweaters and significant others).

The Wrap-Up: Agreeing to Disagree, Vigorously

If none of the above work, try to end the argument with a skillful summary and wrap-up. Find a summary that pleases no one and resolves nothing. “So, what we’ve established is that we all have opinions. Fascinating. Now where is the pecan pie?”

The Artful Dodger

The information above can be a lot to assimilate before the holiday dinner, so there is one more suggestion that always works. Arrive early, sit at the other end of the table, and let Aunt Edna and Uncle Ernie be someone else’s problem.

Conclusion: Surviving with the Family Still Intact

As you navigate the choppy waters of family political debates, remember that the goal is not to change minds but to exit the conversation with your sanity, your sense of humor, and your family relationships intact. Here’s to a holiday season where the most heated debate is about the best type of pie.