One of the most powerful principles influencing human behavior is the rule of reciprocity. If someone does something for you, you feel an obligation to do something in return. Society looks down on those who don’t reciprocate. Reciprocity is a powerful force that the litigants should harness in mediation.

In his book, “Influence”, Robert Cialdini shares his insight on reciprocity and other “levers” of influence. Cialdini explains that stores give free food samples because many customers will feel obligated to buy the product. Charities send free address labels to prospective donors knowing that this dramatically increases donations. The rule of reciprocity shapes human behavior, particularly in the context of mediation.

Early in a mediation, it’s common to hear parties criticize the other’s proposals as unrealistic. Frequently, that criticism is fair. When the parties apply the rule of reciprocity, they can influence each other to make more satisfying proposals. When one party makes a financial or other concession, it influences the opponent to reciprocate

While the rule of reciprocity seems obvious, don’t underestimate its power. Parties who want to achieve a settlement should come to mediation expecting to engage in a certain amount of back and forth. If one party makes a concession and the other party refuses to budge, it will be more difficult to resolve the case, no matter how reasonable the second party’s initial position was. If each party is prepared to make some concessions, the mediation will be productive. I am not suggesting parties take a settle at all costs approach or make unwise concessions. Instead, I contend that litigants should plan their mediation strategy to include thoughtfully timed concessions that are consistent with their overall goals. In most cases, this will lead to reciprocal concessions.

Applying the rule of reciprocity in mediation is not dishonest manipulation. All parties benefit by understanding basic human nature. Parties are better prepared to negotiate when they understand that each party must feel like they received something of value for settlement to happen. The rule of reciprocity is one of the reasons parties don’t like to bid against themselves. It feels offensive to make additional concessions when the other party has not reciprocated. Parties should strategically consider what concessions may motivate the other side and when to make them.

One tool mediators use that encourages reciprocation is the bracket. When the mediator suggests a bracket, the bracket usually requires both sides to make a meaningful move or concession. This can jump start the negotiation after impasse.

Not every case can be settled. But, by applying the rule of reciprocity, the plaintiff can find out how much the defendant will pay short of trial. And, the defendant can find out how little the plaintiff will take short of trial. Then each party can make an educated decision about whether settlement or trial is the best option. Reciprocity is one of the keys for the parties to get the information they need in mediation.