The Power of Choice

At the heart of mediation is the power of choice. Unlike a trial, which places decision-making in the hands of a jury or judge, mediation empowers the litigants to choose how the dispute will end. The mediation process recognizes that each party has not only the right but also the capacity to make informed decisions about their lives and conflicts. Through mediation, the parties and their attorneys can choose options that may not be available in court. It can be helpful for lawyers to explain to their clients the power of choice that mediation gives them.

How we perceive a difficult situation can vary greatly depending on whether we have chosen the situation or whether the situation has been forced upon us. Vigorous physical activity is a perfect example. If we choose to run in a marathon, training by running long distances may appear to be an exciting challenge and an opportunity to increase fitness. If we are forced to run long distances every day, we may feel stress, helplessness, anxiety and even despair. The difference is choice.

The same thing is often true for our clients. They probably didn’t choose the situation that led to litigation. The only choice they may have made is to hire a lawyer to file or defend a lawsuit. Once the litigation starts, they often feel like they are trapped and have lost control. They have a sense of powerlessness and helplessness.

Mediation gives clients the power to choose their future in a setting where they have a trusted advisor and where they can thoughtfully consider the pros and cons of their options. One of those options continues to be trial, and in some cases that is the best option. Regardless of whether they choose to settle their case or choose to go to trial, clients are more likely to be satisfied with the outcome when they made a choice.

Escaping the Cycle of Anger and Unforgiveness

One of the less discussed, yet profoundly transformative, aspects of mediation is its capacity to help individuals move beyond anger and unforgiveness. Conflicts, especially prolonged ones, can trap us in a state of emotional turmoil, where anger and resentment overshadow everything else. There’s an old saying that unforgiveness is the poison we drink hoping it will kill the other person. Usually, it is the person filled with unforgiveness or bitterness who suffers from the poison.

The power of choice clients experience in mediation helps them let go of the burdens they have been carrying. Sometimes this process can lead to surprising moments of empathy and connection, allowing individuals to see beyond their anger, recognize the humanity in the other, and open the door to genuine forgiveness and healing. More often, it just allows the parties to let go of their grievance when they exercise personal agency and choose to end their dispute.  Even when cases don’t settle at mediation, the client benefits from knowing that they made a well-considered choice to go to trial.

Why This Matters

Mediation is not just about finding a resolution to a current dispute; it’s about changing how the parties relate to the conflict itself. The parties are no longer powerless litigants; they become decision makers. Decision makers are more likely to be satisfied with the outcome and with the lawyers that assisted them in getting there.